I have 3 other BLOGS you should read!

I've been A.W.O.L from this blog for a bit,but not without good reason, dear reader.Just like everybody else,I have been very busy.It's been amazing traveling,doing stand up comedy,writing and enjoying a summer of love here in NYC,but I have been working on some other blogs and I want to tell you about them.I have created 3 websites over at Tumblr.com (which is a really great free site that offers easy ways to blog) and those sites are keeping me working to maintain them in my free time... I am actually working on a book about one of them! I will still write on this blog...but until I start updating it...please check out my other blogs.I have listed the links and descriptions below:

1. Skull Swap...This is mostly a picture blog featuring funny, interesting things I find on the internet.I update it constantly/obsessively so you can see photos like these:
2. Fuck Yeah Animals With Casts I created and update this often. This site is almost completely comprised of reader submissions, and is all about making sure these animals get better. The site has been featured everywhere on the internets...The amazing artist KAWS blogged about it and Andrew Sullivan of The Atlantic just wrote about it on his blog...I am very honored that people like it...check it out to see photos like these:
3. I Hate My Parents I love my parents...I just wanted a place to put all the funny pictures I have found of children and families. This one is hard to explain..but I update a lot and if you check it out you will see photos like these:

Thanks for reading!

Invisiblity...for dummies!

Please sit down before you read on...and maybe cover your Mac book with plastic wrap...because what I am about to reveal may BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT...and I don't want to ruin your computer.Ready? I found a website that promises to teach you how to be invisible. I wasn't even looking for it...because I, like everyone else in the world who lives in reality,thought being invisible was the stuff of superhero fantasies.I was wrong.The website claims: This method is used by the CIA and foreign agencies...you can go anywhere without being seen....it works even when you're completely surrounded by cameras or people....oh and you can vanish & reappear as you wish, wherever you may be.Are you sold? Probably...but the authors of this book though you might be cynical,so they added a BONUS book! Yeah..maybe you are a JERK and invisibility is not enough for you,so when you buy the book, you get THE WIZARDS BOOK of Animal SECRETS...what's that book about?!?!?I don't know if you can even handle what I am about tell you...but with this book, the website claims,you can:command flocks of birds...teach you dog to walk on stilts...keep a squirrel in your pocket...make your cat use a toilet...oh, and BRING DEAD ANIMALS BACK TO LIFE!Don't explode from all the awesomeness...and don't be scared when I show up invisibly behind you holding your formerly dead cat...just thank me for the information.
click HERE to go to the site!

Teen Wolf.....Girl?!

I always want to remake my favorite teen movies from the 80's and 90's...keeping them pretty much the same, but changing them from having a male lead to a female lead...For instance, think of how many dumb jokes can be squeezed out of having a female lead in a Teen Wolf remake....I am imagining a charming "trying to shave her legs..but the hair keeps growing back" scene...Genius! I think of great female lead remake movies all the time...almost any movie works....ALMOST! the 80's movie, Loverboy, would not work...because a girl that delivers pizzas with extra anchovies to older men and then sleeps with them for money, is not so much a "Lovergirl" as she is a prostitute...Bummer, cause I really like the original movie....damn you society...with all your stupid Patrick Dempsey double standards!

Pink Floyd reunited and moved next door to me .....I AM SO PISSED!

FACT:No one has ever lived next door to a good band....Even if you LOVE the music...the close proximity of the music to your apt. makes you unable to appreciate it...
...Think about it, somebody lives/lived next door to RADIOHEAD!?! and even THAT DUDE is probably banging on the wall at 3 A.M screaming, "Radiohead!!turn your amps down! I am trying to listen to some Radiohead songs!"Even if the Beatles SOMEHOW reformed, using Eric Clapton to fill in for the late George Harrison, and Jeff Lynne(ELO) or David Bowie to fill in for the late John Lennon....AND THEN they moved to a practice space next door to you...you would probably have to go over and tell them to stop playing the most beautiful music in the world...so that you can hear the televison program "America's Funniest Pets"...

The Greatest Movie Never Made

You like movies right? Well not as much as these guys....For instance,if you had a great idea for a movie...let's say maybe something really cool, like BATMAN VS. Alien VS. PREDATOR...what would you do about it? Sit around smoking weed telling your friends all your great ideas? Write it on your blog that no one reads? Twitter about it? Well,these guys MADE THE MOVIE!Check out this fan film my brother showed me, which takes the BATMAN VS. Alien VS. PREDATOR idea and runs with it...oh and it's actually REALLY GOOD.
This 8 minute video may just be the motivation I need to get these genius ideas in production:
-Weekend at Bernie's 3 (he's a ghost)
-a Micheal Bay DVD Box set that actually explodes after you watch the movies
-Chucky VS. the Leprechaun

*NOTE: Comedian Matt McCarthy just told me the dude that plays the Joker in the video above, was Boner on Growing Pains....I haven't check IMDB.....but Matt is the dude in all the Verizon commercials...so he's a supercomputer in my book.

∆∆∆Triangle Erotica...Polygon Porn ∆∆∆

The funniest part of this picture....this strange Ron Jeremy art I saw on Connor Creagan's Flickr is that somewhere in this universe there is a small triangular picture with a huge penis on it. OK... so the triangle picture I made to illustrate my point should be a bit more graphic, but I am not at a place in my life where I feel comfortable typing, "Ron Jeremy penis huge dick" into my Google image search engine...yet.Sooooo I put a picture of a dude standing next to a bronze cast of an elephant penis...which is still too graphic...and now that i think about it....creepier somehow...SORRY!

call it like you see it.

my brother showed me this very funny Beatles video.....it's the literal version....you will love it.

Depeche Mode and the World Trade Center

Ok sorry about the SAD blog title, but this is some heavy shit.Depeche Mode's song "Enjoy the Silence" is a 80's music staple...even the video for the song is really memorable...I guess it was one of the earliest videos I remember watching on MTV...
I recently watched a different version though,a Depeche Mode promotional video, filmed at the top of the former World Trade Center (South Tower).
it is sad to watch...the footage conjures up so many emotions...tragic memories and yet...the buildings look so beautiful and peaceful here.This video makes the song seem different somehow...according to Wikipedia the promotional video was filmed in NYC at the Top of the World observatory in 1990.
Oh yeah one more thing....according to Wikipedia,the band Limp Bizkit filmed much of their music video for the song "Rollin'" on the South Tower rooftop observation deck as well...but since Limp Bizkit SUCKS, I am not even gonna watch that one...I think naming an album,"Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water" should be cause to submit to a psychological examination...Limp Biz should get "Rollin'" on a Rorschach test!

some motivation

Meet Tim Piccirillo...he is a motivational speaker who combines magic with motivational messages.Sounds perfect for your next party...right? Wait...there is something else...according to his website,Tim was born with Tourette's Syndrome, a neurological disorder characterized by sudden involuntary movements. Creative magic, stories and audience participation make keynotes and workshops fun and unforgettable.
I am sure that is true. Everyone I ever met with Tourette's was pretty unforgettable..Like that time a lady with Tourrete's kept yelling "TITS TITS TITS ASS ASS" from the audience during a stage production of Chorus Line...No disrespect to Piccirillo...he is probably mad inspirational...in fact lots of high schools hire him for his chill "Say NO" Program...which uses "creative magic, humor, puppetry, along with audience involvement to teach, in a non-threatening manner the danger of using illegal drugs"....Whew!I am glad this dude is not SUPER THREATENING..like if he stimulating raping someone and then punched a student in the face!

It's a SIGN.

Maybe people have been putting up funny signs in public for years....I am not really sure. I do know that the trend seems to be everywhere now. I am sure everyone has seen this lost cat sign by now....but how about this one...It's like a funny lost pet sign explosion.this sign craze is in no way limited to pets.Some signs are weird...and some....like this one of a series of signs by some dude named Craig...are just perfect.more signs to come.

giant skateboards and bulldog puppies

Some people should NOT be allowed to own a mini-horse...I am talking to you little girl!Seriously, dressing your horse up like "My Little Pony" should be against the law.Fortunately, Rob Dyrdek, the pro skater featured in the MTV show, Rob and Big, CAN totally handle a mini-horse.Sadly,the Rob and Big show is over....but Dyrdek is still great sans Big and mini-horse,in his new show,Fantasy Factory. The show is basically the spazzy skateboarder doing anything he wants...which is usually AMAZING stuff!! like indoor zip lines,getting all his friends "Jazzy" wheelchairs, and building giant skateboards.I think I love this show specifically for......the bulldogs! It's like Rob Dyrdek knows everyone's fantasy!and he is killing me with that bulldog puppy....I need one....bad!

Silly Love Songs.

Diane Warren is a songwriter who's music you have heard a million times...whether you wanted to or not...Warren has written more than 90 Billboard top ten hits, 38 of those songs have reached #1, and she has been nominated 6 times for an Oscar..Basically this lady is BOSS.....don't believe me? Here is a super short list of some of hits she has written for other artists.
-"Don't Want To Miss A Thing" Aerosmith
-"If I Could Turn Back Time" Cher
-"Unbreak My Heart" Toni Braxton
-"Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" Starship
The most amazing thing about Warren is that, even though almost ALL her songs deal with romantic themes....She has never been married, says she has never been in love ,and does not even enjoy dating.I listened to Diane Warren on NPR and she said that she has never been in love like in her songs, and she has never wanted to "stay awake just to hear someone breathing" a reference to her Aerosmith Armageddon song....good point.
Love is a headache...let's watch Mannequin and not think about it.

it's a blog eat blog world.

I admit it...I have been working on my tumblr page (skullswap) more than this blog lately...I love it, so here are some of my favorite photos from over there...

I love how this cat looks like he knows something bad is about to happen to him.It's like a shrine...and Seinfeld is a religion.Dolly Parton is dressed like a miner....to my disappointment, she is not a unicorn.When kids play dress up it is fun...except for the dog.This karate kid has the eye of the tiger...and a sweet backdrop for his sweet moves....
OK...that's enough....I could post funny pictures on this blog all day... but I will try to have a point next time I do...because posting funny random pictures is what my tumblr is for...I think.

Jesus didn't die for you to be a LOSER!

Ceramic figurines don't lie.... I don't care what your parents told you about sportsmanship and being a team player....judging from these figurines you better hustle... Jesus want you to WIN!

drawing a photograph

when I saw this picture for the first time, it was a really small thumbnail...and...I thought it was an ad for another Jurassic Park movie...and now that I can see the picture, I wish it was a new JP movie...here's the movie pitch in my head...."It's Jurassic Park...but this time...with dinosaurs AND giant killer bees!"....don't look for plot holes in that idea...because..it's...perfect. Actually that picture is by Dan McCarthy....his art is so dope, and the details are so incredible...sometimes I think his pictures are photographs. Check 'emsee what I mean! For more,Click HERE

Baby Supermodel

I can see why having people think their kids are the most special,amazing things ever.....I mean just point and click.....and look at all the cute baby pictures you can take!You can just put flowers around their heads and people will be all,"AHHHHH! That's the CUTEST THING EVER"! and then they will read your blog consistently just to get another glimpse of your baby supermodel.Oh, Duggar family I was not talking to you....sorry!Actually, this is an old family picture,only 17 children are in this ....and the Duggar's are up to 20 kids....sadly none of their pictures are as cute as this.or this.

Come back old Las Vegas!

My dad used to take the family to Las Vegas waaaay too much!He would ask us where we wanted to go on a family trip, and after we said "Hawaii"! or "Japan"!or "Skiing"!...(which isn't really a place).... He would say..."We are going to Las Vegas again"!!!!Now, I am not complaining,in fact, I am loving images of old school Las Vegas lately...vintage postcards,cheesy 70's and 80's pictures, and an amazing website written by former showgirl(click HERE to see more of her)
Check out that girl's amazing Sam Kinison T-shirt btw....all these things are making me regret not taking more pictures all the times we would visit Las Vegas....and also make me regret that I do not have a time machine.These guys know what I am talking about!

if i was a boy.....

Team Alva in 1985......those guys look so cool! Even though, i hate that Beyonce song, "if i was a boy".......it has made me ponder....if i HAD to be a boy...i would.....
be all like,"OMG DUDES!Neckface Vans!"and then I would wear my own band's shirt because I was so amped!and then i would hang out with Tony Alva...and we would do this!and then i would read this before bed....if i was a boy.

the greatest "Mall" ever.

I just found the only place to shop! THE MILLENNIUM MALL! I live in NYC and I can't find the pure insanity located conveniently at this Oshkosh, WI based online mall....they have more crazy than ANYWHERE ELSE! What does this "mall" have that is NECESSARY to buy during this recession? Well, Here are some "essentials" the website offers:
candles....dolls(as in Voodoo),bears,metaphysical products.... sage to burn when anything bad happens(rather than do something about it)...bat's blood,graveyard dirt.....maps(who needs to buy maps?Google it),crystal stone helmets and (spiritual) power gloves.... dragons,wizards,celestial mirrors...Don't forget go to stop at theso you can dress like a "Goddess"...which I guess is just the new age way of saying "trannie-looking girl trying too hard" judging from the pictures!and then go chill withhe is a great "paranormal investigator"....which I guess is the new age way of saying jobless....This mall is like a creepy,shitty flea market.... but online!!!AWESOME!

A website about mooning people!

DO yourself a favor? and click here: Mooning You to see and hear the worst website of all times, and yes.... I AM including your grandma's myspace profile page in that category.....and you know her blingees are weird!
...but not as weird as butts...I can't believe this website is asking readers to send pictures....creepy buttheads.